Dream On...
Today is Rosh Hashanah. It actually started last night. I was welcomed into the New Year today with an awful gift: my period, which is crippling me with hideous cramps. At least I know (well, I'm fairly sure) that I'm still fertile.
I had really bizarre dreams last night. In the weirdest one, I worked at a restaurant owned by Loretta Lynn. I was wiping down some counters with her sister, Crystal Gayle, when I overheard two skeezy-looking men in a booth say they were gonna rob Loretta at gunpoint. She was standing at the cash register and I dashed over to her and said, "Run, Loretta! Run!" She didn't ask questions, just bolted for the back room, where she retrieved a pearl-handled revolver. She shot at the men and hit me in the finger. The men fled, and Dolly Parton came over to me and removed the bullet and bandaged up my finger. It was the tiniest bullet ever, just 1/4 of an inch or so. I said, "It doesn't hurt that much."
Then my friend Jon and I were sitting at the back of a bus quoting lines from the movie "9 to 5" while Jane Fonda and Dolly Parton sat up front, gabbing. There were some U.S. soldiers on board. A little girl was on the bus holding a doll to her chest. Her father was in Iraq, fighting in the war, she told me. I said, "He'll come home soon. Your father is a brave man."
All right, I'm crawling back into bed, hopin' and prayin' these cramps subside soon. Oh, by the way, I've started reading another Patricia Highsmith novel. It's called "Small g."
I had really bizarre dreams last night. In the weirdest one, I worked at a restaurant owned by Loretta Lynn. I was wiping down some counters with her sister, Crystal Gayle, when I overheard two skeezy-looking men in a booth say they were gonna rob Loretta at gunpoint. She was standing at the cash register and I dashed over to her and said, "Run, Loretta! Run!" She didn't ask questions, just bolted for the back room, where she retrieved a pearl-handled revolver. She shot at the men and hit me in the finger. The men fled, and Dolly Parton came over to me and removed the bullet and bandaged up my finger. It was the tiniest bullet ever, just 1/4 of an inch or so. I said, "It doesn't hurt that much."
Then my friend Jon and I were sitting at the back of a bus quoting lines from the movie "9 to 5" while Jane Fonda and Dolly Parton sat up front, gabbing. There were some U.S. soldiers on board. A little girl was on the bus holding a doll to her chest. Her father was in Iraq, fighting in the war, she told me. I said, "He'll come home soon. Your father is a brave man."
All right, I'm crawling back into bed, hopin' and prayin' these cramps subside soon. Oh, by the way, I've started reading another Patricia Highsmith novel. It's called "Small g."
posted by Chai on Life! at 12:37 PM
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